FOUR LIMITING STEREOTYPES
It descends early that our ego in formation adopts strategies to be accepted, recognized and loved. We draw attention and mark place through behavioral stereotypes, electing one or more of four roles, so to speak, either in combination or alternating.
These four limiting stereotypes are the VICTIM, the BRIGHT, the GOOD BOY or GIRL and the PROBLEMATIC. They are usually distributed by the family nucleus, even though there may be members who share or mirror preferences, or even 'compete for the same 'place'.
Through them we seek attention and energy, thus gaining a place of visibility and sometimes consideration, first in the family and then in the world. We take on roles at an age when we know neither more nor better, it is the basic response to the fear of rejection and the desire for inclusion.
This video (in Portuguese) is an excerpt of a session with a client and respects privacy policy by omitting personal contexts. If it makes sense to you, adapt it to your reality.
These patterns of ours, even when alternated, come to identify us in the eyes of others and mark our position in the relational matrix in all quadrants of life. They are resourceful choices of the Ego, typical of a survival strategy. In general they are quite effective, at least apparently so.
Do you remember what your role(s) of choice have been, throughout your life? (see more in the video above)
Then we grow up and, ideally, we try to free ourselves from those strategies and just be ourselves, giving and receiving accordingly. And yet...
The truth is that in many of us the mask sticks to the skin of the subconscious and enters adulthood, even if it no longer serves us and seriously limits us,
conditioning self-image, polluting relationships and narrowing horizons. To free ourselves from them is in the first instance to recognize them, accept them, bring to consciousness the cause of their former necessity, and choose to change.
So I ask: in the present time, do you still represent this or that of these stereotypes, consciously or unconsciously?
To be happy it is important to free ourselves from what limits us. and to have the courage to be and make the new and better happen within us.
Trading authenticity for acceptance or approval doesn't usually work out well. It's good to become aware of these patterns because we can dismantle them and replace them with more authentic and beneficial beliefs and attitudes.
To be happy we must release what limits us, and have the courage to be and make the new and better happen within us.
(Anamar)
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